On a personal level, I think full disclosure is the ideal situation for any person living with HIV (PLHIV).
Of course, it’s easy for me to say since I’m one of the lucky few who have been able to publicly declare my HIV status and not have suffered because of it. Other people are not so lucky. Other PLHIVs have been kicked out of their homes, lost their jobs, their friends or partners; it’s a common refrain. This is not news. This is the sad and frustrating reality of our world. Being open about our HIV status does not guarantee our safety and security in this country.
As someone who is public about my status, I can say, though, that it is an ideal situation to be in because of the advantages that comes with living my life openly. I don’t have to lie about certain lifestyle changes that have occurred in my life — most notably, my sleeping hours and avoiding stressful situations — and I can take my pills openly. I don’t have to be discreet about it.
If I have a medical emergency, for whatever reason, the people around me are usually very supportive and helpful. They become extra nurturing, even, and watch out for me.
I think the most important thing is that I don’t have to hide this part of my life from the people who matter to me the most. My relationships are secure with regards to secrets. I am not keeping a secret from people I love and from people who love me. It makes things clear and keeps things simple.
On Full Disclosure
Being open about my status also meant that I had no choice but to reveal to any potential romantic or sexual partner about being HIV positive. Naturally, this made the conversation very awkward and uncomfortable. I’ve had my fair share of dates and hookups that never reached its full potential because some people are not ready to handle someone with HIV.
I don’t take that against them. If they are not ready, then they aren’t ready.
It’s just something that I believe in. I contracted the virus because I was reckless enough to sleep with multiple partners and not use protection. I bet if I knew someone had HIV back in 2004, being an ignorant young 20something, I probably would not have slept with him either. I’d like for people to know what they are getting themselves into with me.
So, in my opinion, full disclosure is important. In the original HIV Law, Republic Act 8504, the language of the law made it so that a PLHIV is “obliged to disclose his/her HIV status and health condition to his/her spouse or sexual partner at the earliest opportune time.” The language is not clearly defined. It is a single sentence and it is phrased in a way that it doesn’t insist on it, so there is no way to determine if you will be breaking the law by not disclosing.
In the past 11 years since diagnosis, I have always disclosed my HIV status to any potential romantic or sexual partner. I felt it was necessary. I felt it was my obligation, But over the years, my stand has changed.
Again, it’s easy for me to disclose because I’ve never been discriminated upon before. I have never suffered from stigma. But now that it’s been eleven years, and I’m not in the public sphere as I used to be, there are people out there who don’t know about my status and I no longer tell them, even if we enter a sexual relationship.
I don’t have to. Republic Act 11166, the Philippine HIV and AIDS Policy Act of 2018, is much more comprehensive and better defined in its terms and terminology. Article VI, Section 47 states “Any person who, after having been tested, is found to be infected with HIV is strongly encouraged to disclose his health condition to the spouse, sexual partners, and/or any person prior to engaging in penetrative sex or any potential exposure to HIV.” The section also includes a clause on how to disclose, which creates a safeguard the PLHIV from any sort of reprisal.
The reason this becomes beneficial to PLHIVs is the use of the phrase “strong encouraged” rather than “obliged.”
“Obliged” is such a passive-aggressive term. It neither insists nor does it provide any alternative action. “Strongly encouraged” denotes that one is not required to inform them. It respects the notion that disclosure is solely upon the discretion of the PLHIV. And if the PLHIV has an undetectable viral load, then s/he is no longer a threat to anybody for being a “potential exposure to HIV.”
So who do you tell?
Which brings me back to my original statement: full disclosure is an ideal situation for any PLHIV. I think the amount of PLHIV who are living their lives with their status out in the open is a strong measurement for how progressive a society is. If the PLHIV community are unafraid of reprisal or discrimination, then we have a society that works for the betterment of everyone in it.
But we don’t have that right now. Conservative thinking and old school beliefs are still pervasive. These values diminish the quality of life for many members of various communities who are marginalized and live on the fringes.
And because of that, a lot of poz still live with their status kept secret.
But it’s always good to share that secret with someone. HIV is manageable but one shouldn’t have to face it alone.
Always tell someone. Definitely, your doctor. Develop and nurture a strong relationship with your doctor; someone who can address all your medical concerns and who can insist on practical solutions to any of your medical issues. Form a support group with other PLHIV who understand what you are going through.
And then, be very discerning, and choose someone from your inner circle. Be it someone in your family or from your close circle of friends. This person can help you out of situations were your HIV status may be put into question. You will have a friend who can help you avoid certain situations and certain questions that might reveal your HIV status. It helps with the stress because keeping a secret like HIV can be very stressful.
And we want to stay away from stress.
Poz has a great article on the basics of disclosure (https://www.poz.com/basics/hiv-basics/disclosure) that you might want to take a look at if you have any questions on how to disclose and why.
But let me reiterate, the choice is yours. It’s your secret and you are not in any obligation to reveal this information to anyone. It’s no longer illegal not to; it’s not a law. It is strongly encouraged. But again, it is up to you.
Blood Makes Noise
RAA 11166 & IRR states:
Section 23 HIV Prevention Measures.
- The PNAC, in coordination with the DOH, LGUs, and other relevant government agencies, private sector, CSOs, faith-based organizations, and PLHIVs, shall implement preventive measures, including but not limited to the following:
- Establishment and enforcement of rights-based mechanisms, which include psychosocial counseling: A. to promote HIV status disclosure to partners; and B. to strongly encourage newly tested HIV-positive individuals to conduct partner notification.
Section 47 Disclosure to Persons with Potential Exposure to HIV.
a) Any person who, after having been tested is found to be infected with HIV, is strongly encouraged to disclose this health condition to the spouse, sexual partners, and/or any person prior to engaging in penetrative sex or any potential exposure to HIV.
b) A person living with HIV may seek help from qualified professionals, including medical professionals, health workers, peer educators, or social workers for disclosing this health condition to one’s partner or spouse. Confidentiality shall likewise be observed.
c) Further, the DOH through the PNAC, shall establish an enabling environment to encourage newly tested HIV-positive individuals to disclose their status to partners.
Read more on the new HIV Law (RA 11166) and the Implementing Rules and Regulations here: http://www.ship.ph/republic-act-no-11166-the-new-aids-law/